What is short and fat with a huge black cunt? Dawn French.

Went to a brothel last night and asked how much it would cost for total humiliation.
£37.50 answered the madam.
What do I get for £37.50 ?

Man. Utd shirt came the reply.

The Togo team bus was shot over 200 times and only 3 bullets hit the target! Local police are now looking to question their number one suspect......Emile Heskey

Rafael Benitez has compared Liverpool's current status to that of Haiti's. A crumbling shithole full of lifeless bodies where the only hope is money from the USA.

Rhys Jones' killer Sean Mercer has been signed by Liverpool. A spokesman said "He's the only scouser we could find that can get his shots on target"

I hated paying £1.50 a minute on the phone to wank over sex stories.So I got a job at ChildLine.

Just £3 buys food and bottled water for a family of 8 in Haiti.But on a serious note, Tesco are doing 4 cans of Stella for £2.99

The news report that Gary Glitter has slept with an 85 year old have been confirmed as false, it was actually a Haiti 5 year old.

What does the average Pakistani weigh?...sweets!

Oh dear.

I lol'd...and so did several others.

You can say a lot of bad things about peadophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

The Winter Olympics: letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.

Katie Price & Alex Reid have reportedly split, whilst making sunday dinner Katie asked Alex to turn on the vegetables.She was appalled to see him giving her son Harvey a wank.